Blog Post #5 - My Scar Story & Suicide Awareness...

Today, I guess I'll post something more serious than my usual 'rant' posts... Not too long ago, it was Suicide Awareness Day (10th September), and of course, I wanted to show my support... So, I wrote the word 'Love' on both of my wrists. Because in all honesty, more people do need to recognise that the people around them could be suffering in silence, and suicide is a matter that needs to be dealt with, because unfortunately, it does happen. I'll hold my hands up and admit that I have had suicidal thoughts, I've been in situations throughout my life that I've found difficult to cope with, but because of the people around me, I'm still here. And, I'm honestly so grateful that a few of my friends actually noticed that I was suffering, and that they did get help. I was too scared to do it myself, and I don't want to think about what might've happened if they hadn't stepped in when they did.
   Unfortunately, a lot of people miss the signs that someone close to them is feeling suicidal. Because in most cases, the person suffering won't actually tell anybody, and it can be quite difficult to know, as they might act perfectly happy. One thing I would recommend looking out for is marks on the wrists, or unexplainable cuts on other areas of the body. As, contrary to most people's beliefs, it isn't just the wrists that self-harmers choose to attack, in order to soothe themselves. If you do see any marks, and they keep frequently appearing, then I'm pleading with you, go and tell an adult that you trust. Because, even if they really are animal scratches or whatever, you really never can be sure. And it's better to be safe than sorry, right?

  Whilst I'm on the topic of self-harm, part of a campaign to raise awareness of self-harm and the effects it has on those around it, was to fill out a blank template of the human body, using different colours to indicate what various scars on your body are from. And so, to show my support for those going through a similar experience to what I've been through, and also to say to everyone that I'm not afraid of myself anymore, I filled in one of these templates, which I shall post below... Luckily for me, a lot of my scars aren't easily noticeable. Those that are results of accidents I had as a child, or animal scratches, etc. You wouldn't even know they were there unless I told you. But even so, they are still there... And part of this campaign, called 'My Scar Story', is that you list all of your scars, no matter what they're a result of.
   Like I said before, a lot of people believe that people only self-harm on their wrists, this actually isn't true... Self-harm isn't just cutting, there are a lot of different types of self-harm. Basically, it's any act that has the deliberate intention of causing yourself pain. For example, burning yourself with a hot metal spoon, cutting with a sharp object, biting yourself frequently, scratching yourself with a sharp object or your own fingernails... All of those listed are examples of self-harm, and they can be on any area of the body. Admittedly, a lot of self-harmers tend to have some marks on their wrists, but, just because there aren't marks there, that doesn't mean a person isn't suffering, they could be somewhere else.
   To show you what I mean, on my very own Scar Story, you'll see that I have scars on my legs and my wrists, of course, I'm not proud of my self-harming. But, at the time, I felt as though it was my escape from everything around me. But now, looking back on it, I realise that I should've got help in the first place.

My Scar Story...

Since I'm done with self-harming, I don't really have a problem with talking to people about it. I know I've had people in the past that have asked me what it feels like to cut into your own skin, why I did it, if I regretted it... And I answer all of their questions honestly, because I'm okay now. And I know I'll never go back to hurting myself, so I don't really see the problem with raising self-harm awareness. If it helps more people to understand what self-harmers go through, and that it's not an act to attract attention, then I'm more than willing to share my experiences. Nobody should have to suffer alone, so if anyone you know is either having suicidal thoughts, or is self-harming, tell an adult, while you have the chance. 

  This topic has been quite personal to discuss, so I only hope that people respect what I have to say, rather than judging me now, just because I've encountered self-harm in the past. I've seen Counsellors, Psychiatrists, Doctors... They all helped me so much, and the people I surround myself with have really helped me, too. I don't know where I'd be without them. 

   Also, I'd like to say that if anyone has any self-harm or suicide related worries, they can talk to me... You can ask anonymous questions through this site: http://ask.fm/FairyNinjaPrincess 

No names will ever be shown, and I'll be sure to answer all of your questions, because I really want people to understand the consequences and to think twice before they make a comment about a subject they don't really know much about... Also, if you've been considering hurting yourself, or even committing suicide, it's always best to talk to a professional, like a Counsellor, because they can really help you to see the bigger picture and realise that you have so much to live for. 

      This has been a serious topic... Thank-you for reading.